Friday 23 March 2012

An attempt

So... I felt so horrible yesterday.

Some random... stomach bug virus thing. Nothing too dramatic though, it was just uncomfortable and I literally felt like I was going to vomit.

Seriously.

It didn't happen.. I slept it off.. felt a bit weak this morning but I'm ok now.
Really... there is no time to be sick anymore--and frankly we can't afford it.

Anywho.. finally pay day, I need CLOTHES! Feeling like a raggedy bum at the moment with my current clothes hanging off me like a circus tent.
Hopefully I can find a little something-something.

So yeah. Onwards to the weekend!

Wednesday 21 March 2012

So... I'm going to be a guest speaker..

At a youth workshop in Croydon!

It's all part of this place I work for, Enpower, I'm a writer there, and the owner of it needs speakers to come. I'm also an Ambassador, so I represent the youth and the creatives.

The subject matter is body image and perception so it's more focused on the young women.. which I can completely empathize with, which is why I want to do this workshop!

Funnily enough, I would have never thought ME of all people would be talking to young people about self esteem and how they feel about themselves, with me being a heavy victim of low self esteem and confidence through my 23 years.

But it's a chance to network, and to encourage young ladies who are in that same situation to be liberated and to have a new outlook on themselves, to be comfortable with themselves and appreciate how they are and who they are.

Should be good!
x

Saturday 17 March 2012

When everything becomes too much...

...give it to God.

There are some situations or problems where if you think you can handle it yourself, you dig yourself a deeper hole. But if you can see the problem and you know it only needs the hand of God.. the best option is to PRAY.

Seriously.

I've had times in my own house where you can cut the tension with a knife.
And you know if you bring that issue out, there will be more of a repercussion, so it's better to take the case to the Lord.

When it feels like everything is just too much on your shoulders... give it to God. It's the best thing to do because HE WANTS to. HE CARES for us (1 Peter 5:7)

Bless
x

Sunday 11 March 2012

Self Evaluation...


Before you look at someone... look at yourself first.

I've been reflecting about myself.. and the things I'm doing wrong and what I need to do. Because really, in this life, it's about ourselves before anyone else. If our paths in life are gonna be straight-- it's all down to our attitudes and what we have planned to achieve.
I've pin pointed a lot about myself that I need to change and I need prune out of my system--because if not, I will suffer, I will struggle, and life will not be enjoyable.

It's time to stop looking at other people and look at ourselves first and foremost..
And from there we'll prosper..

Little things like this... help us to be humble and therefore God comes in and lifts us up..

Friday 9 March 2012

Something Strange about the Johnsons

Now. I was given this link to watch...

29 minutes and 6 seconds of my life that I will never get back.



But while watching this short film, it wasn't just shock, but I was quite inquisitive wondering what the writer was actually trying to portray in this film.
There's issues of incest, rape, power, and the distorted reality of love.
The film is a lot deeper than just what you see.

I don't want to give too much away, but I did a little research on the writer, Ari Arster and he came up with the idea while speaking to one of his friends (who happens to me the main character of the film) about taboo subjects and topics that could never be made into film-- and this was one of them!

But there are some scenes in this film that are so disturbing-- there's a particular scene (well two) where the mother actually witnesses her own son and husband in the act, but the husband is actually the victim. Again, the wife is in her bedroom and hears faint cries--her son and father are doing the act of 'love' as the son addresses it by-- and the wife knows what's going on, but to ignore it she just turns the volume up.. and as she turns it up, the screaming gets louder..
It's a powerful scene and also disturbing--how can you sit there and know what is going on in your own house and sit through it?

On Youtube.. everyone has their own views-- as disturbing as it may be, this actually does go on behind closed doors--but it's never spoken of because of how stigmatized it is.

I'm still a little disturbed, fascinated, and scared all at the same time.
Because scripture says in Timothy:

1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

6They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 8Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

You see that?

Even the main character, he HATED his mother because she didn't love him the way he did.
There's things in this world.. and there are issues that are kept in the dark, but maybe they need to be brought to life so people who are suffering will find solitude.

Seriously--this film just shone light on the abuse that is going on in homes and kept under wraps.

Hm.

Sunday 4 March 2012

Mishaps and what not..

Have you ever had a time where you're just speaking to someone nonsensically, and then afterwards you sit down and think about what you said and go 'Wait, did I really say that?' 'Why did I even say that?'

And really, there's no time limit to what we say, we don't need to speak like a motor for someone to hear us..

But I guess in the heat of conversation we just say things without thinking and then afterwards we wonder or regret why we said them..

But even scripture says, 'Be swift to hear, and slow to speak'.. so instead of being swift to speak and slow to hear.... (you get my drift)

It's all part of life... when we speak much, we make a lot of mistakes as my spiritual father has always said and it's the stone cold truth!

So next time you're speaking.... just think about what you're gonna say.. it's not really hard. I've started to implement this and it makes life easier...
I know it's hard especially when you're in an argument.. but the scripture still applies..

Try it.

Oh my gawd! It's March!

I just can't believe it!

I remember new years eve at my church like it was yesterday.
It's actually madness.

I wanna share something. On Friday.. for the whole of the day, I would hear like a quiet still voice speaking to me and just saying things to me.

I'm believing this was the holy spirit--you know how God always wants to speak to us but we never listen..?
Well I was hearing something! And it just kind of renewed my mind and made me really really think.

There are so many idiotic thoughts that drop in my mind that I don't even need to make time for. There are things that I don't even need my mind to be processing--there are places that my mind does not need to go!

This may not even make sense to you... but for me it makes heaps of sense.

The amount of things we think about are completely unnecessary...

God's working on me..

I can feel it.

x