I just...

want to help as many people as I can..
Is that so hard?

Total Thought spam...

Well... Here I am again... thought spamming my mind away.. there's so much.. but I'm going to try and limit it... It's just like you want to push yourself away from people for a while, not in a bad way.. but when you're around people too much it can get a bit agitating and irritating and you start to make mistakes and say things that you're not meant to say, and then by the time you've said it, it's too late and then you feel like a fool. How about when you've witnessed someone saying something about you, and it's like... 'Well what's the point of even talking, if people are going to say poo about you?' It's like.. I've gotten to a point where I'm like 'Oh my god.. who can I even trust?' It's scary... anything that is said can be used against you, EVEN if it's something good. Why is it when you do good, no one remembers... and the one mistake you made it's remembered for eternity. (Yes, eternity.. that's what it seems like sometimes) *sigh* It's like I'm beginning to seclude myself.. I don't want to speak to anyone because of fear of stuff being used against me... And.... I haven't had that heavy hearted feeling for a while.. till just recently.. but I know why, and I do not want it. It's a crap feeling. It sucks. Especially for a pointless reason. I'm not even making sense anymore....