And the cycle continues

Always at the end of the month.. the same of feeling of 'Why', and 'When?' and 'Is this ever going to end?' and that Unfulfilled feeling, and just down right feeling like a piece of poo.

Every month, without fail.

And it's not like I don't know things will get better, and it won't last forever-- well it's been going on for long enough, and I'm getting a little tired of it, quite frankly!

It's getting irritating, like that little fly that won't go away as much as you shoo it with your hand.

But what else can I do but persevere? There's nothing else. So.. God... I always look to you.. when the end of this comes.. I will be so happy.

Because I'm not content where I'm at.. I'm surviving. That's about it.

But all will be well, I do believe.. but it can get so irritating and tedious when it keeps happening.

Otherwise, I'm blessed. And I can see the signs. I have no doubt God is working it out for me-- but sometimes you sit and ponder and just come up with all sorts of malarky in your mind.

But after the preaching I heard on Sunday.. and what I've accomplished this far... this thing is a miniscule of my life-- but it's something that shouldn't be there at all and should be driven out.

And then I think all sorts of thoughts about myself, and if I'm a good person, and If I'm doing the right thing.. and what will people think of me.. and this and that.. and this and that.

It's ridiculous. I wish my brain had an off switch.. but then.. I think I'd be brain dead. lol.

But not a literal off switch.. just switch off the stupid thoughts!

I did have something meaningful to write.. and then it just turned into a rant.

I'll write about it later..

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