The Day before Christmas..

It's not night... so it's day. lol.

My heart, my mind, my soul has been in such a muddle. It's my own thought.. it's my own decision.. but I know why.
This Christmas season.. I'm not particularly as happy as I would be.. I'm not really even feeling Christmas this year. I really feel like bursting into a sea of tears for multiple reasons. If I had my own way.. I would actually spend Christmas by myself.

I don't think I've been the best daughter/sister/friend this year that I could have been.. and I really think I'm tearing myself into pieces because of how I feel. There's not much that can be done.. the year has passed.. but I've just been reflecting on myself and how I've been this year..
I've been so selfish.. so stupid.. so vulnerable.. so irrational.. so.. any other synonym for just plain stupid.. that would be me.

Why? I really don't know? Because I act straight from my emotions?

What I want to do for 2014 is really work on myself again... and get my spirit and my mind straight and re establish that closeness with God that I used to have. I really want to withhold my mouth.. I don't want to talk too much.. but rather talk when needed and talk with sense.
I pray God will help me here and help me especially with my mind.

My mind and my thoughts have been the main culprit to why I've acted so stupidly throughout the year. And it's our thought that God judges us through rather than what we do--- Something my dad Pastor Danso always says.. so I don't want my thoughts to take me to hell.. not at all.
I don't have bad motives... but sometimes my thoughts are not good.

One thing I do a lot.. is I don't fully say how I feel.. and I'm going to work on that in 2014.. communicate more and communicate truthfully.. if something is really bothering me.. I'll say it. If I see something that I don't like.. I'll say it. but I pray God will help me be WISE when doing this.
Because a man that talks too much makes mistakes..

But yeah... as my eyes have been leaking with tears as I write this blog.. I just hope God can mould me more.. and that I don't chase away the little people that I have around me.