5 days until the new year

Sitting at this train station waiting for this delayed train.. I'm just thinking about all that I could have done differently or not at all this year.. Not necessarily regret, but just.. To improve.

Already made a mental note of what I need to work on.. And I just pray God to help me..

I really need his help..

The Day before Christmas..

It's not night... so it's day. lol.

My heart, my mind, my soul has been in such a muddle. It's my own thought.. it's my own decision.. but I know why.
This Christmas season.. I'm not particularly as happy as I would be.. I'm not really even feeling Christmas this year. I really feel like bursting into a sea of tears for multiple reasons. If I had my own way.. I would actually spend Christmas by myself.

I don't think I've been the best daughter/sister/friend this year that I could have been.. and I really think I'm tearing myself into pieces because of how I feel. There's not much that can be done.. the year has passed.. but I've just been reflecting on myself and how I've been this year..
I've been so selfish.. so stupid.. so vulnerable.. so irrational.. so.. any other synonym for just plain stupid.. that would be me.

Why? I really don't know? Because I act straight from my emotions?

What I want to do for 2014 is really work on myself again... and get my spirit and my mind straight and re establish that closeness with God that I used to have. I really want to withhold my mouth.. I don't want to talk too much.. but rather talk when needed and talk with sense.
I pray God will help me here and help me especially with my mind.

My mind and my thoughts have been the main culprit to why I've acted so stupidly throughout the year. And it's our thought that God judges us through rather than what we do--- Something my dad Pastor Danso always says.. so I don't want my thoughts to take me to hell.. not at all.
I don't have bad motives... but sometimes my thoughts are not good.

One thing I do a lot.. is I don't fully say how I feel.. and I'm going to work on that in 2014.. communicate more and communicate truthfully.. if something is really bothering me.. I'll say it. If I see something that I don't like.. I'll say it. but I pray God will help me be WISE when doing this.
Because a man that talks too much makes mistakes..

But yeah... as my eyes have been leaking with tears as I write this blog.. I just hope God can mould me more.. and that I don't chase away the little people that I have around me.

Creative moments

I'm in a deep reflective space at the moment.. And i've just been writing things here and there..

Sometimes it's good to have an outlet... I'm in the perfect state to write something..

Gonna use it to my advantage..

Natural Magic

So... As I stand on this packed train... Aka part 2 of my journey to work... I must marvel at the fact that just yesterday I was on the verge of becoming sick as a dog..

You know when you can feel if you don't do something you're just gonna be flat out ill.. Bed ridden. The whole shebang.. Yeah.

Me specifically when I feel like I'm gonna be ill I know it's due to lack of rest..
So what did I do?

When I got home.. I did all the stuff I needed to do to unwind.. And then to tackle my scratchy throat.. (that's always the first symptom) I made tea with honey.
BLACK tea at that... No milk, no sugar. And just added honey.

As soon as I finished the drink... I felt so much better and went to sleep.
When I woke up.. My nose was filled... Blew my nose.. And my throat was no longer scratchy.
For me.. When I'm blowing my nose a lot it means whatever I did worked... It's good to know yourself and how you tick!

But anyway-- black tea and honey. Did the trick.
All these lemsips and beechams and things I refuse to drink.. You have to drink about 5 before you feel anything.
Gonna have another cup when I get to work!

It's getting so cold...

And on that note...
Until next time :)

Beloved Friday

This week went SUPER SLOW for me!

It really felt as if yesterday was Friday.. I probably was just getting ahead of myself because I really want next week to just come and go and then I'll be on holidays.

Ohhhh Lord  Jesus.. I've been doing a lot of thinking... and there's just somethings that you don't have the power to do.. you can't control anyone.. neither can you stop anyone from doing anything.. all you can do is advise and hopefully they take the advice they think is good.

But sometimes in life you encounter people that will be around you... that just need to learn things on their own..

It's painful to watch someone do something silly... but if you've advised them I guess you've done your part..

People like to learn the hard way I guess?

Either way.. one week left.. the countdown continues!

x

Chilly morning

Lord in heaven it is cold! It's that abusive wind chill cold..

I woke up with a heart full of irritation.

After a brisk walk to the bus stop this morning and some encouraging notes and words I feel a lot better... the situations we are in are tests for strength.. not to weaken us but to build us up for what life has to throw at us.

One thing we need to do on a daily basis is constantly look at everything that happens to us positively.. it may look bad, but 'All things work together for good for all those who love God.' (Romans 8:28)

I was saying to myself last night I'm so fed up.. with everything.. and why this and why that.. and when we get like that.. you don't know your prayer answer/testimony/miracle is around the corner..

And so... regardless of what is dashed at our head pieces..

We will overcome.. we are all stronger than we actually believe.



x

Super slow week

How is tomorrow only Thursday?

Shouldn't it be Friday? I guess I'm just going way ahead of myself.. but I really think this week is going by super slow.. and I'm so tired!

It's the penultimate week before we break up for holidays and I really wish it was this week..
I'm so ready to just have a good ol lie in.

It's getting to that time where it's getting harder and harder to gather energy to get out of bed.. but programming in my mind that I still have a week and a bit of work.. I just have to get up.

I've been in a weird state today.. not happy, not sad, not angry, not upset.. just dormant.. and in deep thought.

You know where you get to a stage where you're like 'This isn't all life has to offer, is it?'
Life is not about routine, repetition and the like.. it's about learning and adventure...

But anyway.. at least tomorrow is a day closer to Friday...

Optimism!

x