During the holidays..

So I'm in the last week of my Easter Holidays... and it's been such a reflective time.. and just thoughtful time.. I don't even know where to begin.

I'm really, really, really trying not to worry about things... but when you see an incredibly low amount as your bank balance, and you still have however so weeks until you get paid again.. you begin to wonder. But to flip it, at least I have a job, where I can look forward TO getting paid.. rather than completely wondering where another lump sum of money will come..

So I'm grateful to God for that..

I'm really trying to adopt this whole 'not worrying' thing... because really, why DO we actually worry? Is it because we have nothing to do with our minds when we're not actually busy with all the one million things we have to do during the day? Is it because we don't believe we will get any help from anywhere else so we want to put it in our own hands, and we don't even know what to do??

Worrying just adds stress.. and stress manifests into so many different sicknesses and diseases that have no portion in our lives!

Lord in heaven... I feel like I'm being grinded and pounded into pieces---theoretically/figuratively speaking.

I'm growing up! lol :)

Easter and all that Jazz...

It's been a longggg couple of weeks, or month or what should I even say..

I haven't updated for a long while.. it's been a time of reflection, re evaluation, everything.. all I'm thankful for is the upcoming Easter holiday.. I've mentally been so drained.. and wondering what's going to happen in the next couple of months.. wondering what God's gonna do in the next couple of months... there's so much I'm anticipating.. and so much I'm expecting to happen...

But.. it's late. I'm tired... and I'm thankful to God.


x

Be bold

So.

I think I've decided I want to do this.

I've just started a new writing project.. or more loosely, a novel.. MAYBE.. I'm still undecided of the length.
The story is provisionally entitled 'Triangle' and it's about a whole lot of emotional, cultural and self issues.

It's loosely based on myself.. I'm not going to give a lot away because the project is still in the working stages. I had the biggest fear of writing this.. but the way it's stayed in my mind, and the way I keep on feeling to write this-- it needs to be written.

Maybe it's not for me.. maybe it's for someone else who needs to read this and not feel guilty, maybe it's for someone who has held a secret for so long and feared to say anything for fear they will be judged.. I don't know.. but I'm going to stop being a coward and write it...

..and God will do the rest.

This may be the outlet I need to release my own self..

Who knows.

I will reveal more as time goes on..

And so...

The thoughts and the feelings and the emotions decided to flood up my vision sight.

Have you ever thought why you are friends with certain people? Or how you became friends with certain people? I know it sounds like such an idiotic thing to question or think about.. but I think about those things!

Do you remember how you even met your best friend, or the people that you call friends? I really believe that how everything happens is somehow intertwined...


But yeah, I was asking myself so many questions and thinking why the people I'm friends with are my friends and why they want to be my friends and what we have in common and a million other things floating around in the black hole I call my mind.


But then I came to the realisation that there are actually some friends that you have nothing in common with, but they're just meant to be there for a specific purpose, and then obviously the ones that you do share a common ground with are there for that, and to bounce ideas off each other and encourage etc..


But yeah!

Just random.


lol.

(and yes I do realise I haven't posted for a while.... Gonna come back to my nightly blogs :))

For everyday we are fighting a battle..

...so don't judge anyone!

You know as human beings we tend to judge as soon as we see someone.. but why not look deeper into the picture? Do you know why the person is acting the way they are? Do you even know what they are going through?

A lot of the time because we don't know people's lives and we don't know what they are going through.. we instantly judge and label.. and if we do eventually get the opportunity to become aware of someone's situation.. we then sit back and go 'Ohh... so that's why they were acting like that..'

But does it have to be until then? Because sometimes we may not even get the golden opportunity...
Instead of judging... why don't we try and understand?

We're in this world to help and make a difference.. not to destroy and criticize...

Faithful..

When I think there's no other way...

God makes a way.

I always panic in certain situations because I wonder what in the world am I gonna do.. but then God shows up... he likes showing up when there's no alternative..

All part of his greatness..

x

19/1/2013

I had a dream that I saw someone I knew from long long long time ago coming to my church.. with her sister.
I remember seeing them and them waving at me.

*shrug* Lets see what happens.