I'm walking this path..

But how?

You know how God has destined everyone to walk their own path to their destiny.. I know where I'm going.. but.. how am I going to get to that destination? I'm on THE WAY.. but how do I get there?

And really.. this is the whole point of why we have life... life is the 'how' to my question..

Because... time is ticking.. I'm not necessarily wasting time, but more like when am I going to reach it?

Anyway....

God is in control.

:)

I bit my tongue!

Very hard too.

I was eating a meatball, and I was just chewing.. next thing I know I've given my tongue a nice bite.. and now the side of my tongue has a bump.. but yesterday it felt very prominent, so I guess it's gone down since yesterday.

I didn't even think I was chewing that hard either!

But yeah, it is the best day of the week and I'm so glad it's here. It's been an interesting and long week but I'm grateful to God for all.

I'm actually looking forward to a little lie in tomorrow because I've been so tired this week. The church is still under renovation mode, so nothing's really gone on this week.. except we do have service tonight, which I can't wait for!

I had a life lesson this week that really made me look at myself and made me realize certain things.. there is always room for improvement so I will definitely have to check myself and make a conscious effort.. we all have bad traits we hold and it's our decision whether we do something about it or not..

That's life for you.

And! I'm very happy with myself.. I have been able for about two weeks now, to write a note a day on facebook. So I'm going to try and keep going-- I was doubting myself today because I had no idea what to write about.. and the thing about me is when I write something I like the person that is reading to have gone away with something from it..

So hopefully they have.

It's all to keep this constant writing flow continuous...

And because of the creative writing workshop I'm doing in two weeks.. preparation!

But very grateful and happy it is now the weekend.

x

Stream of consciousness 17th sept

Walking up the stairs,
Thumping of boots, heels, pumps
Walking up the stairs, smells of pasties, morning breath and BO,
Walking up the stairs, blurs in your peripheral vision, bags knocking your sides, being tripped up by heavy breathing middle aged men
Walking up the stairs, small school children with rucksacks bigger than their own bodies swinging to and fro; the rattling of a million keyrings hooked to their zips
Walking up the stairs bobbing and weaving through a river of plaid shirts, skater skirts and primark shirts
Free

I'm really trying...

Again.. I've been MIA right?

I need some form of tablet.. or just another laptop until my beloved Toshiba comes back onto my lap once again.

Of recent I've been trying to up my writing.. not just stories, but just general writing.. to keep the writing flow continuous with no breaks..
When the breaks come.. they always last for so long.. and then I lose the passion. Well.. not necessarily the passion but the inspiration..

I don't like that.


But yeah.. I've been writing a note everyday on my Facebook, encouraging, uplifting, or just my general thoughts.. and the other day a lady in my church told me that she's been reading them.. and I was like 'Really??' and she even admitted that she doesn't go on facebook much, but she's been reading my notes! I guess that says something-- a sign to keep writing.

I don't see my writing as anything.. but to someone else they see it as a form of encouragement, entertainment, or even escapism.

I'm really trying because I love writing.. and I'm still aiming for it to be something to gain income from-- but it's ok if it doesn't-- the most fulfilling part of it is that someone benefits from it.

Other than that.. I'm back at the work grind.. and.. life..

x

Phoneless for three days

So once again.. I managed to mess up my phone screen-- not cracked this time, but it was flickering like how a television does with all the static and stuff.. (old skool), and I had to cough up £100 to fix my screen, as well as the back of the phone (which has been cracked since I got it.. lol).. But really, it was a bargain.. 100 to fix the screen and the back of phone together-- whereas the first time to fix my screen ONLY, was £170.


..but after three days my phone is back, fresh, looking like I just took it out of the shop, and strangely lighter.

But before that-- my experience of having no phone was an interesting one. Usually on my morning commute to work my face is glued in my sony screen on facebook, twitter, instagram and various other apps that I switch in between.. but with no phone weighing down my pocket; I was able to read my metro newspaper with no distractions and really get into the news stories like how I used to. No phone meant no music, so I had to sit there and just observe my surroundings. (Usually I have a book but I haven't had any good recommendations and nothing has tickled my fingers--just only recently!) and it's so eerie. The world has truly changed.. almost each person on the trains I boarded on had their face in some type of device, or they were plugged in. It's rare to see someone just talking to someone else-- I think that's more seen on buses..

But as well, it made me also bond closer to the people who are around me.. because one thing I want to dismiss is us being all in one room.. and just on our phones, rather than just talking and catching up. Our schedules are very different so we don't really see each other as much as before, so the time I do see them, I at least want to exchange some words. Nothing wrong with being in the same room in SILENCE.. because it's not all the time we should talk.. but still, phones aren't going anywhere.

But yeah, even today, even though I had my phone, I put it in my bag, and read my paper. It got to a  time where I wouldn;t read the paper, I'd just be on my phone.

I'm an oldbie.. I prefer to read the physical paper, rather than on my phone... same goes with books.

But it was an interesting experience-- it's like my phone was a drug because I felt stripped and naked like something had been taken away from my grasp.. but it was a big realisation.

My phone looks so brand new I'm scared to even hold it.. I've broken it twice now.. I don't want to break it a third time..

Lord help me!

I've been a bit MIA

I have... haven't I?

Well... I've had a good maybe 3 or 4 weeks of.. I wouldn't say soul searching.. but just perspective and realization and delving deeper into.. me.


I'm a lot better now.. had a bit of a breakdown last week I think it was.. but honestly it helped.. having a cry and then going about your business is all well and good.. but I'm still in that state of searching... of really finding my purpose.. and really wondering what I am meant to do here.

Because you know.. we are all meant to fulfil something.. I think I've written this somewhere before, but it's the truth.

So.. in a very internal state.. but I know God will shed some light.

It was my birthday..

5 days ago.

It wasn't really how I wanted it to be, but I thank God that I was alive to see it and to be blessed for one more year to be added onto my life.


Yep.