I'm really trying...

Again.. I've been MIA right?

I need some form of tablet.. or just another laptop until my beloved Toshiba comes back onto my lap once again.

Of recent I've been trying to up my writing.. not just stories, but just general writing.. to keep the writing flow continuous with no breaks..
When the breaks come.. they always last for so long.. and then I lose the passion. Well.. not necessarily the passion but the inspiration..

I don't like that.


But yeah.. I've been writing a note everyday on my Facebook, encouraging, uplifting, or just my general thoughts.. and the other day a lady in my church told me that she's been reading them.. and I was like 'Really??' and she even admitted that she doesn't go on facebook much, but she's been reading my notes! I guess that says something-- a sign to keep writing.

I don't see my writing as anything.. but to someone else they see it as a form of encouragement, entertainment, or even escapism.

I'm really trying because I love writing.. and I'm still aiming for it to be something to gain income from-- but it's ok if it doesn't-- the most fulfilling part of it is that someone benefits from it.

Other than that.. I'm back at the work grind.. and.. life..

x

Phoneless for three days

So once again.. I managed to mess up my phone screen-- not cracked this time, but it was flickering like how a television does with all the static and stuff.. (old skool), and I had to cough up £100 to fix my screen, as well as the back of the phone (which has been cracked since I got it.. lol).. But really, it was a bargain.. 100 to fix the screen and the back of phone together-- whereas the first time to fix my screen ONLY, was £170.


..but after three days my phone is back, fresh, looking like I just took it out of the shop, and strangely lighter.

But before that-- my experience of having no phone was an interesting one. Usually on my morning commute to work my face is glued in my sony screen on facebook, twitter, instagram and various other apps that I switch in between.. but with no phone weighing down my pocket; I was able to read my metro newspaper with no distractions and really get into the news stories like how I used to. No phone meant no music, so I had to sit there and just observe my surroundings. (Usually I have a book but I haven't had any good recommendations and nothing has tickled my fingers--just only recently!) and it's so eerie. The world has truly changed.. almost each person on the trains I boarded on had their face in some type of device, or they were plugged in. It's rare to see someone just talking to someone else-- I think that's more seen on buses..

But as well, it made me also bond closer to the people who are around me.. because one thing I want to dismiss is us being all in one room.. and just on our phones, rather than just talking and catching up. Our schedules are very different so we don't really see each other as much as before, so the time I do see them, I at least want to exchange some words. Nothing wrong with being in the same room in SILENCE.. because it's not all the time we should talk.. but still, phones aren't going anywhere.

But yeah, even today, even though I had my phone, I put it in my bag, and read my paper. It got to a  time where I wouldn;t read the paper, I'd just be on my phone.

I'm an oldbie.. I prefer to read the physical paper, rather than on my phone... same goes with books.

But it was an interesting experience-- it's like my phone was a drug because I felt stripped and naked like something had been taken away from my grasp.. but it was a big realisation.

My phone looks so brand new I'm scared to even hold it.. I've broken it twice now.. I don't want to break it a third time..

Lord help me!

I've been a bit MIA

I have... haven't I?

Well... I've had a good maybe 3 or 4 weeks of.. I wouldn't say soul searching.. but just perspective and realization and delving deeper into.. me.


I'm a lot better now.. had a bit of a breakdown last week I think it was.. but honestly it helped.. having a cry and then going about your business is all well and good.. but I'm still in that state of searching... of really finding my purpose.. and really wondering what I am meant to do here.

Because you know.. we are all meant to fulfil something.. I think I've written this somewhere before, but it's the truth.

So.. in a very internal state.. but I know God will shed some light.

It was my birthday..

5 days ago.

It wasn't really how I wanted it to be, but I thank God that I was alive to see it and to be blessed for one more year to be added onto my life.


Yep.

Gratitude

So.. As of this week, I have started a gratitude journal.. An electronic one..
When I get my hands on some new stationery (yay!) I will also have a physical one..

As a writer, I want to always have those things I am grateful and thankful for in the forefront of my mind.. So when I get to a place I won't ever forget where I came from.. Even though even now I don't forget where I came from..

And I believe it will also help me to realize I am more privileged than I actually think..

So. More writing and reflecting.
And also my birthday is this Saturday!

Relevance

Isn't this the most coolest story ever?


I SO want to write for them.. I love the diversity, the open mindedness, and just the general feel of the magazine and their topics and what they are about.

Love it.

Well.

I feel a little better today-- whoever prayed for me God bless them.


I feel ok within.. but I'm still thinking about heaps of things and anticipating tomorrow..



But.

All is well :)