Hurt

I never thought it could ever happen..

This.

This feeling would come from you..

I sit down and cast my mind back to what we did together...

It takes two..

But we are both to blame.. but one was more in it than the other..

To make you feel better... I'm the hypocrite that just didn't want to quit...


So because of it.. I need to mend..

"It just happened.."

You know when you watch television shows, or even when you're listening to a friend telling you about something that they never thought would happen, and then all they can say is "It just happened..."

Can something really 'just happen'? You must be aware that something is happening ,and if so.. why not stop it?
OR could it be because you're so caught up in the moment that you don't realise until after?

I just wanted to get my head around it.

Uncensored

This is the time and I can feel it..

But why am I being my own worst enemy and stopping it?

I'm thinking about what lies ahead, yet the first step I have yet to make.

It's true, it's only God that I have... and no one else.

So I might as well take this risk and do what I can do..

Or else.. I will be stuck..

Stuck in the space time continuum of debt, sorrow, discontent...

But once I break out on my own..

There's no more boundaries.

I think for myself.. I do it for myself...

There's no one to fall back on.. but God.

God is the only one I have..

He's the one that never leaves.. nor forsakes.

If I break

He will still be there.

I don't want to be stuck here anymore.

Stolen happiness and joy.

No more.

Minor progression...

Well...my mind is a little more at ease now concerning some things, so I'm quite thankful for that!
It's just when you know... you just unnecessarily worry about things that actually are beyond your control, or you worry for the sake of worrying, (I know.. how pointless)

But... things are looking up I think.. kind of, I believe!

Ugh... It'll be time to go back to work soon and the tedious schedule of a 5 day working week.

Ah well... time flies, eh?

It's August!

Where is the time flying?

Next thing I know, I'll blink and we're in 2013. Like, really?
But so many things are going on in my mind.. and so many plans are being created. So many changes are ready to happen...

I have a lot to do.

I just...

want to help as many people as I can..
Is that so hard?

Total Thought spam...

Well... Here I am again... thought spamming my mind away.. there's so much.. but I'm going to try and limit it... It's just like you want to push yourself away from people for a while, not in a bad way.. but when you're around people too much it can get a bit agitating and irritating and you start to make mistakes and say things that you're not meant to say, and then by the time you've said it, it's too late and then you feel like a fool. How about when you've witnessed someone saying something about you, and it's like... 'Well what's the point of even talking, if people are going to say poo about you?' It's like.. I've gotten to a point where I'm like 'Oh my god.. who can I even trust?' It's scary... anything that is said can be used against you, EVEN if it's something good. Why is it when you do good, no one remembers... and the one mistake you made it's remembered for eternity. (Yes, eternity.. that's what it seems like sometimes) *sigh* It's like I'm beginning to seclude myself.. I don't want to speak to anyone because of fear of stuff being used against me... And.... I haven't had that heavy hearted feeling for a while.. till just recently.. but I know why, and I do not want it. It's a crap feeling. It sucks. Especially for a pointless reason. I'm not even making sense anymore....