Naked

The most scariest thing that I find hard to do is to open up.

Truly open up. To reveal my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my disappointments and reveal the real me. Broken, imperfect, me.

Does that make sense? We live in a world where someone says they are with you one day and leave you the next.

Unfortunately we are surrounded with some people who are only around for their own selfish gain.

Let me break it down a little more for you.
As individuals we have a choice to who we open up to-- we have a choice of which side of us we choose to reveal to the people who have decided to be in our lives. But it is not all that we reveal... 

Why?

Is it the fear of rejection? The fear that once we have stripped off that barrier we are vulnerable? The fear of being judged? Regardless there is a fear that holds us from revealing our true selves.

But really, it is a very big privilege for someone to know the true you-- weaknesses and all.

We put on so many masks, and add so many layers to who we are just to protect our hearts; but somehow we manage to STILL get our hearts broken.

Being able to reveal your true self to people is the hardest thing to do; but this is being naked.

Sharing your hopes, dreams, fears-- letting people into the deepest darkest parts of yourself... it is the most vulnerable we can be-- and this is what being naked is all about.

It is the bravest thing that anyone can do-- but we constantly live in fear of being rejected or judged. 

But when you can find that person that you can truly be naked with-- do not turn them away. 

Do not live in fear, though-- it won't get you anywhere. If there is no one you can be truly naked with-- go to God.

God knows you best.

x

Rejection

There comes a time in each and everyone's lives where you will be rejected. It doesn't mean that you are pointless or your life is pointless.. it actually means that you are being prepared to be launched into the world.

I believe in God. I believe in his power, I believe once you accept him into your life, so many things change.
God doesn't do anything by accident; if you find yourself in a place where you are rejected, where no one even knows of your existence-- don't be dismayed at all, it just means that God is hiding you for a time before he brings you back out into the world.

This time of hiding is a preparation time-- a time to be groomed, broken, moulded back up, built-- everything.. but it is all for your GOOD.

You may be feeling at this time, 'Oh why is all of this happening to me' or 'Why is no one around to help me' don't even be worried... this is all happening because God has placed you in a place where no one is meant to see this time of transformation-- when God has finished with you, no one will be able to stop you.

It is a strategy! No one looks at the people who are 'nothing', but it's those same people that when you turn around another day, it is the people that you will need to help you! Never look down upon anyone, you never know who you will encounter in this life.

Be encouraged that you are in your process towards greatness. You may be rejected today; but at the time God reveals you, you will be accepted.

Living with an infant: Toys and Development

I recently bought my son a 'playnest' (pic below) and I can really see he is developing and becoming more and more interactive-- it is truly a beautiful thing to see. Something that took 9 months to create inside of you is now growing, developing, responding and playing.

God is good.

The purpose to why I bought the playnest as because as well as my son really liking colours-- they need to start feeling and touching different things and learning by exploring it for themselves. The Playnest is good for sensory development and cognitive development as it has a range of animals-- a zebra with a very soft and furry nose, a lion that makes a very crinkly noise, a parrot with a squeaky beak, and monkey with crinkly arms, and a sunshine with little ribbons that they can feel and stroke. It gets them busy using their hands and differentiating between colours and different textures. The funniest part of this playnest is that when I put my son in it, he lounges back instead of sitting up-- it's like a little chill spot for him. lol

But he's getting really busy in it nowadays, using his little hands to pull on the monkey arms and to touch the crinkly lion-- it's nice to watch.

But I can see that now he will need a wide range of toys because he is a very active baby-- always moving and wanting to touch things-- but it's all part of the curiosity of children.

Flash Fiction Friday-- Quiet

Staring outside to the emerging sunrise; my son is sleeping, looking so peaceful, his chest rising and falling. His eyes closed and his long eyelashes looking like mini bridges across his eyelids..

Mentally planning the day ahead-- listening to the low sounds of the voices on the radio, staring at the ceiling with the cobweb that seems to be getting longer everyday...

I hear the beginnings of crying from my son's crib.

The day has now begun.

The Comfort zone

A couple of blogs back I spoke about Elevation.... but there's something we need to truly understand about the comfort zone.

Being comfortable is when you're in a place where you are familiar with everything. You know what's going on, you know where everything is, you have been there for so long and everything is second nature to you.

But this place of comfort can be your worst enemy-- you can be stuck in this zone for years and before you realize years have passed and you haven't done anything with your life. Then regret and bitterness sets in... and you begin to become jealous of the people around you, when really all you can really blame is yourself for not taking the risk.

It's very easy to stay in a place where you are comfortable-- why would you want to leave? But you need to know that in order to reach the place you are destined to be, you must take a risk and come out!
The journey towards your destination begins when you are uncomfortable. Do you know why? Because what happens in a place where you are uncomfortable; you discover things about yourself that you didn't know you were able to do or you didn't have so much knowledge about. The reason why this happens is because you are more alert to things around you because you are in an unfamiliar setting.
When you're in an unfamiliar place you're on edge because you don't know what to expect-- but this is the place you are meant to be because you can see your true potential.
Familiarity can delay your progress because when you know everything you don't see the importance or significance of that thing again-- and your eyes become closed. This is where you miss a lot of vital things for yourself and for where it could possibly take you in the long run.

We must be constantly moving and progressing because time is not waiting for anyone in this life! Take a risk today and do something that you've never done before-- you must fulfil what you were brought in this life to do!

Purpose

You have a purpose to fulfil. Yes, you.

Have you ever just thought one day that there is more to this life than waking up, going to work, going home and going to sleep and then doing the exact same thing the next day?

There IS more to life than just that-- but are you ready to walk down that path? The path that will have dark twist and turns; the path that may seem like you will never see the light? The path that will test your faith and your patience?

It is awaiting for you.

As long as you are alive to see a new day, there is something God needs you to do. He has something great for you to do on this earth.

Do you believe it?

Best believe because you have not entered this world by accident.
You have a specific purpose.

You have been created to impact the world you are living in. There is a gift, a talent, a skill.. Whatever you want to label it as; that God has instilled a very unique skill for your life to fulfil the purpose that he has written for your life.

Everyone's path in life is different, so there is no need to compare yourself to the person next to you. What they need to do is completely and utterly far from what you are doing so you don't need to compete. My spiritual father Rev Dr Abbeam Ampomah Danso says "I don't compete because I am complete"

Your purpose has been tailored for your life-- all you need to do is walk in it and believe.

Living with an infant: 5 months and weaning

Lawd Jesus in heaven... I'm weaning my child! Where has the time gone Lord?!

In the space of one week so much has changed-- I personally haven't completely stopped my boy of the breast-- but it has now only been limited to the evening/leading to bedtime. What i'm doing is slowly introducing semi solid foods into his diet... so for example yesterday he tried pureed carrots-- from the Ella's Kitchen range.

He liked it-- it's so funny to see their faces when they're introduced to something new-- the face of disgust, astonishment, and then the last emotion is 'oooh, this is really nice actually' and then sometimes.. you get a mouth full of saliva and pureed food. Lovely!

But there's two types of weaning methods that I have come to realise: the general weaning method where you introduce semi solid foods, and they adjust to different tastes and textures... and then there's baby led weaning, where you skip the semi solids completely and go straight to the solid foods, carrots, etc, finger foods that they can hold and also get used to different textures.

When to start weaning is when you can see that your baby has taken interest in your food, they're looking at it with such focus, they're reaching out for it etc.

But obviously you don't start giving them big heaps of semi solids, you start small and progress because it is something brand new to them-- all they are used to is breast milk or formula lol

Once you can see they are finishing the small portion you give them, gradually increase until they finish everything-- the most important thing about weaning is patience. Some babies may not immediately take heed to new tastes, so you have to keep trying at least 3 or 4 times so they get used to the taste.

The most important thing about weaning is to start them with veggies and wholesome foods-- (baby rice, porridge..) because as much as it may not seem like much, you are actually setting their food habits from now. If you give them too much sweet stuff, all they will want to taste is sweet stuff and it will be harder to introduce veggies and the foods that are good for them- it won't be impossible, it will just be more difficult.

I just can't believe how fast time is flying....

God is good though. x

The baby that cried itself to sleep

I had to pause flash fiction friday because this is something I must write down and I must articulate clearly.

Why do people judge almost instantly when they see something that they don't agree with?
On Wednesday evening I was on the bus making my way back home..

My son was crying in the buggy. The cry was continuous. To the point where he began to squeal and wail.

Before it got to that point mind you, I checked on him. He had been fed, cleaned and burped before I left where I was to get on the bus.

I checked something because my son is very much used to being carried and has developed an attachment to me which I am actively trying to break. Before I even move on.. Babies will of course form an attachment to their mothers.. But it's when they become overly attached and want you to hold them all the time is when it becomes a problem. So continuing the story... I slowly took off the plastic cover and pushed down the hood of the buggy and veered close to him as if I'm coming to pick him up.

He stopped crying instantly.

It's something he does at home as well. So what I do is leave him to cry it out.

The amount of dirty looks I received on the bus was ridiculous. I actually had a man approach me and tell me that my child is crying and that I should pick him up. If I gave in to to the pressure, I would have done so. But I won't do that because people have so much to say when they don't understand a damn thing.

I got on two buses and on both buses I checked him and he kept doing the same thing.
Eventually my son fell asleep.

I'm a new mom yes, but there is something that has been instilled in me before my son was even born and that is intuition. 

Before my son was born I went through a week of being in hospital and so much was declared about what was happening to me. 

But yet my son came healthy and happy.

How dare you tell me what to do with my own child. Do you live with me? Do you know how my child is on a day to day basis? 

No. You do not. So how do you feel you have a say in how I should heed to my child?
Yes you probably can't stand the crying, but I know why I am doing what I'm doing.

Plus, he's only 5 months old, unless I really do need to take him out I will, but there if there is no dire need, I won't.

If he was crying because he was hungry, and I had to whip my breast out, again I would still get funny looks so either way I can't win!

A lot of people disagree with the whole 'letting babies cry it out' but at the end of the day wasn't there a time that this method was actively being done?

I refuse for my child to be attached to my hip-- he will be a child that can be independent and that will also allow me to still get things done in the house.

When your child is overly attached to you.. It's very difficult; anyone you give him or her to, the child will cry for you and want you to hold them all the time-- and then what can you do?

Of course babies will have an attachment to their mothers, of course, but it shouldn't be so much that you can't even leave the room, get food, or even go to the toilet without him or her wailing until you get back.

So to all of the people that had something to say either out loud or in their minds and gave odd looks-- you don't live with me, you don't know my son. I have to even pose the question, do you even have children to understand where I'm coming from?

At the end of the day, I'm his mother and he is my son. End of.
When you have your own child you will understand for yourself.

Don't judge me, judge yourself.

Body image and the new mother

Sagging breasts.
Stretch marks tattooed into your skin.
Baby fat.
Loosened muscles down below.
Incontinence.
Post partum hair loss.

Becoming a mother takes its toll on your body alone. This is partly why a lot of mothers go through post partum depression. The amount of changes that go on in a woman's body before and after pregnancy is beyond belief.

Me personally, I have noticed my body has changed drastically-- both good and bad. I have lost a lot of the extra baby fat I had (Hallelujah) but in exchange I have an unsightly amount of stretch marks all over my stomach, as well as the skin on my stomach looking a lot darker than it did before. My skin generally has become a lot drier, and i've noticed my skin easily scars too.

This hasn't got me down, oh no-- I just look at it and remember my 9 month journey. Sometimes I will admit, I look at it and really don't like the way that I look, but then I look at what I've been blessed with and I forget about it.

As women.. We do worry about the way we look.. We wonder if we can 'snapback' to how we were before we got pregnant.. Even though it is very possible, our bodies are never the same.
We go through a lot. A LOT. After giving birth there is a process of healing that must take place.. Especially if you've had a perinnial muscle tear and need to get stitches.. There is a lot that happens when you have a baby that not everyone mentions. All you see is the mother screaming and then a beautiful baby pops out. There is a lot more to it than just that.

So many complications can occur when being on that delivery bed.. It is only by the Grace of God that sees you through.

The changes that occur DOES NOT make you less of a woman, rather it is all proof that you are a superwoman! Your body was able to endure the stress of carrying a human being inside of you.

What an accomplishment!

It's understandable that you may lament about all of the changes that your body has gone through-- but it is all part of the process-- God has given us the strength and the ability to be able to go through it!

All of these things doesn't make you less of a woman, rather it shows how much of a woman you really are-- to be able to go through each day and nourish a growing human inside of you-- still being able to function and to still take care of your other children (for the mama's that have more than one child)

It is a blessing. You are much stronger than you think supermom-- the changes your body has endured is proof that you harbour so much strength and resilience. Be proud of your body. Love yourself, embrace everything about the body God has blessed you with.

Happy International Women's Day! x

Living with an infant: My boy is 5 months!

Thank you Jesus! My boy has made it to 5 months! I cannot believe it!
I look at him all the time and just say to myself 'Weren't you just born yesterday?'

He's growing so much... He now knows how to work his arms and his fingers.. He grabbed my shirt and held it with so much strength!
He's babbling and squealing a lot more.. Doing his 'ba ba's and 'la la's' he rolls now.. He can sit up with my support but I'm going to get him this toy where it allows him to sit up and play with very colourful things..
And then.. The weaning will soon begin..

Lord give me strength!

Faith

There is something I'm seeing nowadays and I am so happy...

Christianity is being embraced more. In the media especially.. social media, television, radio-- even when I step out there's adverts on buses and trains talking about Christianity.

I'm so happy. The UK is a Christian country, and now it's being embraced by the people.

Personally I wasn't an active Christian myself, let me be honest-- but I believed in God.
What made me embrace the faith more was when I lost my mother to cancer. It was a big blow for me because I had just entered my 20's and was coming towards the end of university about to enter the grown up life per se!
So losing my mother, my only guardian in my life.. What do I do now?
But now being 28.. What God did was draw my attention TO him.

Come on now.. A girl just entering her early 20's, naive, vulnerable, no experience yet to stand on.. I could have easily been swayed into the darkness of the world.

But God had a greater plan. He has literally been guiding my path since my mother died.
The DAY my mother died.. I got a new job. The WEEK in which my mother died I received a word from God about my life.

Like come on, won't he do it! Ain't got good people? So even though my mother isn't alive, before she died at least she died knowing that I'll be ok, you know?

And since then I have been encouraged and strengthened by my almighty father every day.
I have my biggest support system, my church God's Solution Centre and my spiritual father Rev Dr Abbeam Ampomah Danso.

I know God wanted my attention. He's definitely got it lol. My life has changed so much and I am forever grateful. Having faith is definitely something that changes your outlook on life and reassures you there is more to life than a 9-5.

You can never force anyone to believe in what you believe but there is no harm in sharing. It isn't fair to keep something to yourself when it has impacted your life in such a positive way.

That's why I will always say, Jesus loves  you whether you want to believe it or not.
He does ❤

Living with an infant: Growth

My son is going to be 5 months this Saturday. Oh my goodness *cries*

Where has the time gone? It was only yesterday I had him! Lol

Every day he is changing right before my eyes.. His personality is unfolding and it's just beautiful.

I'm also slyly starting to wean him.. The other day I tried to give him a little porridge and he liked it! Watching his little mouth smack with all vim and kicking his legs with glee. 

I gave him potatoes today (in very tiny portions) and he kept crying for more!
It's so funny to watch their faces adjust to the new tastes and textures of food.

But I will definitely document here when I fully begin to wean..
The way he looks at my food it's possible I can begin when he's even 5 months (they recommend to begin at 6 months!)

I'll see how it goes...

The Golden Rule

It's such a simple thing to do-- and I'm sure all of you who are reading have said this phrase yourself at some point. How you would like to be treated, treat people the same and you see it will come back to you.

It's similar to karma, if you believe it-- if you treat people anyhow, badly, negatively you will see the same things happening to you and you will wonder why-- because once upon a time there was a person that you spoke to, and you didn't speak to them or treat them in the nicest of ways.. it's all part of it.

You wouldn't like to be spoken to in a rude, condescending way, would you? So don't do it to other people.

The way you wouldn't like to be treated, don't do it to your neighbour, your friend, even the stranger that you see walking alongside you on the sidewalk.

Because I tell you-- the way you treat people will always be remembered-- if their memory of you is good-- at the right time your good will speak for you-- you may not even remember what you did for that person, but it doesn't matter because goodness goes far.
Be careful how you treat people in life because you do not know who you will need to help you-- that person that you looked down upon on so many years ago will be the same person that you will be running to for help.

The world is round-- treat people with kindness. My spiritual father, Rev Dr Abbeam Ampomah Danso always says that 'Kindness pays'

When you pray for a blessing, it comes in the form of a person; but how can that person be a blessing to you if you've treated them in a horrible way?

Do good, and it will come back to you.

x