Well.
God has touched me. He touched me real good. He dealt with me REAL good.
Because you know what.. as much as I perceive myself as a strong person-- well, I have to be I have no other choice-- I have my weak moments. I have my flaws. I have the times where I just want to bury my head in someone's arms and cry my heart and my soul out.
Yes.
I have these moments. But I have no one to help me embrace these moments. So I have to continuously stand firm and hold myself together.
It's so hard. God, it's so hard.
But what else can I do? I know for sure that I'm a strength for a lot of people.. so to see me in such a broken state.. well.. it wouldn't discourage them but you know how you just look up to someone so much and you kind of gain your strength from that person kind of thing?
Yeah.
Well. I've realized that.. whether I like it or not.. I'll always have flaws. As much as I will have those weak moments, I shouldn't feel as if I'm a weak and helpless person.. it's just what makes us human. We can't ALWAYS be strong.. there will be focal points in our lives where we can break down, but the decision on our part is to get back up.
I'm still learning about myself.. and I really thank God.. because I know he knew EXACTLY what he was doing.
He's really all I have... and I'm thankful.
x
Wednesday 21 January 2015
Sunday 11 January 2015
When I think about it...
My life is in the hands of God..
Everything that has happened to me.. and what I've gone through and still going through.. I'm being kept by HIM.
Sometimes when I sit down and reflect.. I go, 'God.. how?' because it's very emotional and very lonely.. but God has me in the palm of his hand.. and I know he's watching over me..
Thank you Lord..
I love you x
Everything that has happened to me.. and what I've gone through and still going through.. I'm being kept by HIM.
Sometimes when I sit down and reflect.. I go, 'God.. how?' because it's very emotional and very lonely.. but God has me in the palm of his hand.. and I know he's watching over me..
Thank you Lord..
I love you x
Wednesday 7 January 2015
A little encouragement/Self improvement goals
On Sunday, there were awards that were given to particular members in my church, and I received one!
An 'Outstanding contribution award' for 'Faithful and diligent service in the GSC Media department'
Because I'm a worker in my church, I'm pretty much there all of the time because the work that needs to be put in and the vision that is over that department is very big! So the work has to definitely be hard and passionate.
But I will be so honest, when I heard my name called I began to shake and was like 'Oh my God' because I was not expecting it at all.
But it humbled me because it means that I am doing something right, and people are seeing my dedication and my love for the church and the vision.
But then it also scared me because it means I have something to maintain, and I hope that I don't begin to lag behind or the dedication begins to waiver or I don't work as hard as I did.
I will try my best to even work harder than I did last year.
I was encouraged by a fellow sister of mine in church who told me that I did deserve the award and that I'm strong and 'nothing seems to bother me' and I just 'get on with it' which I went 'Really?' But it goes to show that people do see what you do and are quietly encouraged by it.
I was marveled for a little bit but it did encourage me a lot.
Now.
I've been quietly contemplating how I'm going to improve myself this year. I have so many flaws about myself that CAN be changed for the better.. and so that I can grow and excel in life. Because there are things about us that can literally stop your own growth and progress.
So.. for this year I'm--
**Going to work on my self confidence
**Going to work on speaking in front of people (I've improved but I'm going to have to get a lot better)
**Going to work on my emotions
**Going to work on reactions
**Going to work on letting things go (really letting things go and not convincing myself they have gone but they really aren't)
**Going to work on MY MIND, and think more positively.
**Work hard on my prayer life, get it back to where it used to be.
There's others but these are the ones that are at the front of my mind right now.
2015.. I believe will be a good year for me.
An 'Outstanding contribution award' for 'Faithful and diligent service in the GSC Media department'
Because I'm a worker in my church, I'm pretty much there all of the time because the work that needs to be put in and the vision that is over that department is very big! So the work has to definitely be hard and passionate.
But I will be so honest, when I heard my name called I began to shake and was like 'Oh my God' because I was not expecting it at all.
But it humbled me because it means that I am doing something right, and people are seeing my dedication and my love for the church and the vision.
But then it also scared me because it means I have something to maintain, and I hope that I don't begin to lag behind or the dedication begins to waiver or I don't work as hard as I did.
I will try my best to even work harder than I did last year.
I was encouraged by a fellow sister of mine in church who told me that I did deserve the award and that I'm strong and 'nothing seems to bother me' and I just 'get on with it' which I went 'Really?' But it goes to show that people do see what you do and are quietly encouraged by it.
I was marveled for a little bit but it did encourage me a lot.
Now.
I've been quietly contemplating how I'm going to improve myself this year. I have so many flaws about myself that CAN be changed for the better.. and so that I can grow and excel in life. Because there are things about us that can literally stop your own growth and progress.
So.. for this year I'm--
**Going to work on my self confidence
**Going to work on speaking in front of people (I've improved but I'm going to have to get a lot better)
**Going to work on my emotions
**Going to work on reactions
**Going to work on letting things go (really letting things go and not convincing myself they have gone but they really aren't)
**Going to work on MY MIND, and think more positively.
**Work hard on my prayer life, get it back to where it used to be.
There's others but these are the ones that are at the front of my mind right now.
2015.. I believe will be a good year for me.
Monday 5 January 2015
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel... so much better.
Happier.
Upbeat.
Ready to tackle the ride of 2015.
2014 was a very horrible year for me for many reasons... but it wasn't all horrible.
Glad I can finally say 2014 is in the past.
I really have a positive outlook on this year..
It's my year to build, as my spiritual father has declared, a year of building myself, building houses.. etc.
So I'm definitely going to work on myself this year.. emotionally, physically and spiritually..
I will try my best.
x
Happier.
Upbeat.
Ready to tackle the ride of 2015.
2014 was a very horrible year for me for many reasons... but it wasn't all horrible.
Glad I can finally say 2014 is in the past.
I really have a positive outlook on this year..
It's my year to build, as my spiritual father has declared, a year of building myself, building houses.. etc.
So I'm definitely going to work on myself this year.. emotionally, physically and spiritually..
I will try my best.
x
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